- Try Jesus, if you don't
like Him, the devil will always take
you back.
- Staying in bed shouting "
OH GOD" does not constitute going to
church.
-
" This is a ch
_ _
ch. What
is missing ? " ------ (
U
R
)
-
" Try our
Sundays.
They are better than
Baskin-Robbins. "
-
" Free Trip to heaven.
Details Inside ! "
-
" Searching for a
new look ? Have your faith lifted
here ! "
-
" Running low on
faith ? Stop in for a fill-up . "
- Walmart is not the only saving place !
-
There
was a church that had problem with
outsiders parking in its parking lots,
so they put up a sign:
CHURCH
CAR PARK - FOR MEMBERS ONLY;
Trespassers will be
baptized
!
-
An ad for one Church has a picture of two
hands holding stone tablets on which the Ten Commandments are
inscribed and a headline that reads, "
For fast, fast, fast relief, take two tablets
."
- God does not believe in atheists, therefore
atheists do not exist.
- The fact that there's a
highway to hell and only a stairway to
Heaven.
- Jesus is watching, but the police have radar.
- Honk if you love Jesus, text while driving if you want to meet Him.
- God gives peace when you go to pieces.
-
No
God-No
peace;
Know
God-Know
Peace.
-
In the dark ? Follow the
SON.
-
Exposure to the SON may
prevent burning.
-
Son screen prevents sin burn.
- If God is your copilot,
swith seats.
-
If you're headed
in the wrong direction,
God allows
U-turns.
-
If you don't like the way you were
born, try being
born
again.
- Bring your sin to the
Altar and drop it like it's Hot.
- Sin is like a credit card, enjoy it now but pay for it later.
-
It is unlikely
there'll be a reduction in the wages
of sin.
- Salvation guaranteed or all
sins refunded !
-
Forbidden fruit creates
many jams.
- Be careful who you
trust, the devil was once angel.
- Adam and Eve were the first ones to ignore Apple's terms and conditions.
- Adam blamed Eve, Eve blamed
the snake and the snake didn't have
a leg to stand on.
-
If you can't sleep,
don't count sheep. Talk to the
Shepherd.
- Life is like a pencil,
without Jesus there's no point.
- Read the Bible - It will
scare the hell out of you !
- They are some questions
that can't be answered by Google.
-
Dusty Bibles lead
to Dirty Lives.
-
Looking at the way some people live, they ought to obtain eternal fire insurance soon.
- How do we make Holy
water ? We boil the hell out of it
!
-
People are like tea bags - you have to put them in hot water before you know how strong they are.
- Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school but they can in prison ?
- Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside ?
-
" Come work for
the Lord. The work is hard, the
hours are long and the pay is low.
But the retirement benefits are out of
this world . "
- Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over ?
AMEN !
Church
Humor